is notorious for giving AWFUL advice about hooking up. Here are 17 of the absolute WORST tips they've ever printed . . . although we had to clean a few of them up. Clearly the female writers at Cosmo are filthy pervs.
1. "Gently put his 'thing' through the hole [of a glazed donut], then nibble around it."
2. "As you're eating dinner together, say something X-rated like, 'See how I'm devouring this piece of meat? That's how I'm going to devour you.'"
3. "Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel-good effects."
4. "Dip your breasts in edible body paint, and use them to 'sponge paint' his entire body. Then lick it off."
5. "Move him like an old-school Atari joystick: Up, down, side-to-side, in a circle."
6. "Make two fists around his thing and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can."
7. "Draw an attention-grabbing circle around your nipples using rhinestones and body glue for a special night in."
8. "Dab peppermint oil on your neck and between your breasts. Studies found that the smell of mint has a revitalizing effect. Bonus: Your boobs will smell extra fresh."
9. "Keep a spray bottle filled with ice water next to the bed, and give each other a strategic spritz to extend the encounter. Aim for the nerve-packed, thin-skinned areas on each other's body, such as the nipples."
10. "Feed each other ice cream [in the dark]. Not being able to see means more spilling, which means more licking up the mess."
11. "Firmly hold the bottom of his thing in one hand and slowly push it towards the base. Imagine you're pushing it into his body."
12. "Take him between your open palms and tap it back and forth, almost like you're volleying a tennis ball. The quick movements are a fun way to wake up his nerves."
13. "Place one hand at the base of his thing, and twist the tip with the other . . . like you're opening a jar."
14. "Press a fork into different parts of his body: His butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs."
15. "Clamp down on his earlobes with your fingers, and pull on them to rock yourself forward and backward."
16. "Strap one of his belts around your waist and let him hold onto it like a leash."
17. "Use your electric toothbrush or your iPhone when your sex toy is out.