Okay, this story comes from a random guy online, so we can't guarantee it's real . . . but we're REALLY hoping it is.
A guy posted a story this week on Reddit.com about a sexy anniversary gift for his wife . . . that went HORRIBLY wrong.
The guy bought a kit off the Internet that lets you make a MOLD of your JUNK. They send you the kit, you do the mold yourself, and then turn it into a vibrating love toy.
So he did it, and gave it to his wife for their anniversary. I'm sure she was thrilled. But he never mentioned that it was modeled after HIM, because he wanted her to figure it out.
But she never did. And she also never USED it. Then her sister was over at their place for dinner this week, complaining about how lonely she was while her husband was out on deployment. And the guy's wife gave HER the toy.
The guy was too embarrassed to say anything . . . so now his sister-in-law is sitting at home, and quite possibly using HIS junk as a love toy without realizing it.
Word has it JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT'S new movie is causing people to VOMIT at theaters . . . not because it's bad, but because it's TOO REAL.
The movie "The Walk" is about a French tightrope walker named Philippe Petit, who walked across a wire between the Twin Towers back in 1974.
The movie was shot in 3D . . . and apparently that's one dimension too many for some people who have vertigo or a fear of heights.
One viewer told the "New York Post", quote, "The last 20 minutes of the movie I had to look away a couple of times because of the sensation of the height. I felt a little bit queasy. I felt nervous. It was a tingling sensation and some anxiety."
Another said, quote, "The reports of guys vomiting in the men's room after 'The Walk' [are] true. I witnessed it, and came close [to being sick myself]. It's a bad visual trigger for vertigo sufferers."
Director Robert Zemeckis said after the first screening that he actually wanted audiences to experience vertigo . . . so apparently, it's a HUGE SUCCESS.
Police in Rome have given a man a warning for cruising the Tiber River in a converted Maserati car. Police said the man started his journey in La Spezia and was trying to get to Venice. The man reportedly has been warned by police numerous times in various locations for driving his unauthorized boat...
Both having and attending weddings can get pretty expensive.
Just ask Jessica Baker.
The Minnesota resident was sent a bill for $75.90 after she was a no-show at a relative's wedding. Baker tells KARE-11 that she and her husband intended to go to the wedding, but their babysitter backed out at the last minute. Since children were not invited to the event, Baker says she opted to stay home. Baker did not inform the bride she wouldn't be coming, so the bride sent her a bill for the dinners Baker and her husband were slated to have. Baker said of the charges, "You've got to be kidding me...It listed, we would have had two herb crusted walleye and there was also a service and tax charge." Etiquette experts say the move was totally out of line, and that "Under no circumstances should you choose to follow up after the fact...kind of questioning why they couldn't attend or much less sending a bill." (Elite Daily)
One of the biggest plot holes in "Home Alone" is that the phone lines get cut toward the beginning of the movie, when a tree falls on the wires.
So there's no electricity . . . the alarm clocks don't go off . . . the family almost misses their flight . . . and they can't call Kevin once they realize they've left him behind. But LATER in the movie, Kevin is able to call and order a pizza.
Now, 25 years later, someone on Reddit has finally come up with an explanation. Quote, "I always assumed the tree actually severed the main trunk line to the whole town, but local calls within the same exchange still worked."
So, the long-distance service was down, but a call to the local pizza joint could still be made. And a higher-up at AT&T actually CONFIRMED the theory. He told the "Huffington Post", quote, "In 1990, that was absolutely a plausible scenario."
Except that Kevin's dad IS able to call the neighbor's house. He leaves an answering machine message about Kevin being home alone, and the burglars hear it.
But the guy who came up with the theory says the long distance could have been cut JUST to Kevin's house. Or to some houses and not others. And someone else suggested that maybe the neighbors had a different long distance carrier.
(Or maybe we should admit it's just a stupid movie that doesn't have to make sense, and move on? Maybe to Syria? Climate Change? Water on Mars?)